NBA Team Seeks To Dominate in Team Apparel

CLEVELAND, OH - In an effort to keep the NBA Eastern Conference Playoffs somewhat relevant for a few additional news cycles, officials representing the NBA and the Cleveland Cavaliers announced that the team will use original, never-before-seen uniform designs for each of their playoff games during their arranged assumed run to the NBA Finals. The Chicago-based branding firm BRAINMelt has been retained to provide designs for the new uniforms.

Since drafting current league MVP LeBron James, the Cavs were believed to have acquired uniforms created of a disposable material as they have unveiled alternate jerseys at a relatively blistering pace for a professional sports team. However, team management bristles at the suggestion that the schizophrenic color modifications are a callous attempt to cash in on the popularity of their star player. In actuality, the frequent wardrobe changes have come under the guise of honoring the teams past and their fans.

Team Marketer Historian Dale McGreen explains, “As a team, we have a lot of history to look back on. With nearly 30 years of placing 4th, 5th or 6th in our division, there are a lot of opportunities to honor those teams through special uniforms worn by the players and related memorabilia sold to fans at the arena and local sports apparel outlets. What better way to remember all those Bill Fitch coached teams that either missed the playoffs or were bounced in the first round? We also try and make the fans a part of it. We created a uniform to commemorate a fan website and we’re really excited for our Coshocton County Tribute uniforms next season when the Raptors are in town.”

After sweeping the Atlanta Hawks, the Cavs will play the Boston Celtics await the winner of the Celtics – Magic series according to the NBA lead stage manager. When If the Lakers make it to the NBA Finals, the Cavs organization will could face an opponent not only on the court, but in the battle for fans pocketbooks.

As a result, sports marketing analyst Ray Worthenstein isn’t surprised by this new, extreme tack taken by the Cavs. “It’s really an exercise in customer acquisition of the elusive ‘bandwagon fan’: Primarily male, late teens through early 30’s, willing to drop cash they get from their aloof parents or naïve girlfriends on essentials such as baseball caps and other athletic apparel. The brighter ones believe the NBA came into existence sometime in the mid to late 90’s. ‘A’ through ‘D’ list celebrities make up a very visible contingent as well.”

“The Lakers and Cavs have been fighting over this demographic for the past few seasons as these fans have been looking for something to latch onto since Michael Jordan left the Bulls. The hope is that all the bandwagon Cavs fans will turn into long-term revenue streams once they see their closets filled with 20 different Cavs jerseys. Even for the less-than-brilliant drones, switching to another team just wouldn’t make fiscal sense at that point. It’s a brilliant strategy.”

A BRAINMelt staffer, speaking anonymously, confirmed that the required production schedules will test the talent and stamina of the creative professionals on hand, “Management brought in truckloads of Red Bull, a free Starbucks has been set up in one of the breakrooms and we’re adding a TON of freelancers”, he said. “We expect to be working around the clock to get the designs out to the suppliers. The NBA has been really good working with us and letting us know how many games the Cavs have left to play. It’s a maximum of 14 but our contacts in the league offices said we should shoot for 10 to 11 new designs. It will all depend on how the TV overnights look from game to game.”